true beauty

I am reminded this week of the beauty of chronological reading. There's just something totally cool about putting the pieces of the Word together in the way they were written. I love reading the "story" and then reading the emotion (Psalm) that goes with it. I can feel David's fear in Psalm 57, his longing in Psalm 63, and his love and trust in his God in Psalm 18. Reading this way completes the picture for me. I hope you are finding this to be true for you as well.

We began this week with the ending of Saul's life. While Saul is not a particular favorite of mine, I find myself mourning the loss of who he might have been. I think there's a powerful lesson in his life. He allowed his weaknesses to keep him from reaching his full potential as God's chosen king. He relied on himself and others rather than relying on the Lord. And maybe most telling, he knew how and what he should be doing. He just seemed to prefer his way over God's. (1 Samuel 15) Perhaps one reason that Saul is not one of my favorites is that I see myself reflected in his actions. A consistent prayer of mine recently has been that I will become who He intends me to be, not who I think I would like to be.

Then I find myself envious of David. He is a man who certainly seems to have it all together. He seems (at this time in his life) to never take a misstep. Even when he has been marked for death and hunted down, he makes right choices (1 Samuel 24,26) and has complete and utter faith that God will rescue him. Again and again I saw the words, "David inquired of the Lord." I find myself longing for that relationship with God and I try to make it so complicated. I think, "well, David was obviously God's favorite." I justify why God might prefer him over me and how wonderful David must of been. However, you know what? I am the obstacle in way of a "David-like" relationship with God. Do I inquire with the belief that He will show me the way? Do I praise Him at every opportunity? Do I pour my heart out to Him? Do I expect Him to be there?

The real, honest answer is that while I am better at these things than I used to be, I am still a far cry from where I ought to be. I think, though, that I am finally at a point in my life where I will be satisfied with nothing less. And maybe that's the beginning after all. At the end of the day, I want it said that "she found strength in the Lord her God" (1 Sam. 30:6) , that "in her distress she called to the LORD; She called out to her God. From His temple He heard her voice; her cry came to His ears" (2 Sam. 22:7), that "the Lord was her support. He brought her out into a spacious place; He rescued her because He delighted in her" (Psalm 18:18,19) that "He turned her darkness into light." (Psalm 18:28)

How about you?