gratitude

One area of my life that I struggle with constantly is remembering God's goodness to me. To be perfectly honest, I don't think about this much. It usually comes to light when I am working through a bible study and I'm asked to list a time that I remember that God did something wonderful. And while I know that he does many beautiful miraculous things on a daily basis, mostly I draw a blank. I've come to the conclusion that I just don't pay enough attention.

Anyhow, we recently read the story of Elijah and the widow at Zarephath.

Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. Then the word of the LORD came to him: "Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there. I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food." So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, "Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?" As she was going to get it, he called, "And bring me, please, a piece of bread."

"As surely as the LORD your God lives," she replied, "I don't have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die."

Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.' "

She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the LORD spoken by Elijah.(1 Kings 17:1-16)

Here's a woman who is living life with a constant miracle. She knows that no human is putting flour in the jar and oil in the jar. There still is no rain so there is no hope for a harvest. Elijah has told her that God himself said that she would have flour and oil as long as there is no rain in the land. You have to think that she is feeling pretty good about the Lord and how He's blessed her family. Except...

Some time later the son of the woman who owned the house became ill. He grew worse and worse, and finally stopped breathing. She said to Elijah, "What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?"

"Give me your son," Elijah replied. He took him from her arms, carried him to the upper room where he was staying, and laid him on his bed. Then he cried out to the LORD, "O LORD my God, have you brought tragedy also upon this widow I am staying with, by causing her son to die?" Then he stretched himself out on the boy three times and cried to the LORD, "O LORD my God, let this boy's life return to him!"

The LORD heard Elijah's cry, and the boy's life returned to him, and he lived. Elijah picked up the child and carried him down from the room into the house. He gave him to his mother and said, "Look, your son is alive!"

Then the woman said to Elijah, "Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the LORD from your mouth is the truth." 1 Kings 17:17-24

I have to tell you that I was a little bit frustrated by the widow. She's living this miracle life and yet the moment her circumstances change, she's pointing the finger and blaming Elijah (and God). The note I made in my Bible says, "do our life circumstance cause us to forget the miracles in our lives?" But I still wasn't talking about me. Yet. It wasn't til later that I realized that I was no different than the widow. If I can't remember the good things the Lord has done in my life when I'm working through a bible study, what are the chances that I'll remember them when life comes pounding on the door? To carry the thought one step further, am I truly grateful as the Lord works throughout my day? And what can I do to change it if I'm not?

One of my favorite blogs is a Holy Experience written by Ann Voskamp. I will often reread her posts over and over just to allow them to seep into my soul. She has such a way with words and everything she writes has a scriptural tie. It's a beautiful thing. Anyway, she wrote a post entitled a thousand gifts where she talks about her journal of the gifts that the Lord has given her. Over the years she has surpassed one thousand and now goes on to number the thousands. She says, "Too often I miss Him, oblivious, blind. I don't see all the good things that He is giving me, gracing me with, brushing my life with. True, He is everywhere, always. But maybe, before The Gift List, I thought of Him as further off, not so close. When I started to see all the things that I love bestowed upon me, I started to see Him as near, present, everywhere, showering me with good things. Seeing the things I love all around me gives me eyes to see that I am loved, that He loves me."

Anyway, recently I decided to begin my own list of a thousand gifts. Some days are more challenging than others and I have to look a little deeper to see how He's blessed me. Some days are simple gifts such as the bluest sky that I've seen in a long time and some days the gifts are huge. Through it all, my hope is that when I seek Him, I will find Him. (2 Chronicles 15:2) And maybe the next time difficulties come knocking on my door, I'll remember the miracles that have come before and I will rely on the Giver of life.