Finally, a post!

I like Moses. I love the relationship that he had with God. That he had intimate, personal conversations with Him. That he knew Him. That God chose him. And, to be honest, I like the fact that Moses had flaws. That he wasn't perfect. It reminds me that God isn't looking for flawless people. In fact, He takes our flaws and uses them for His good.

One of the reasons that I can relate to Moses is that he has a temper. And on more than one occasion, that temper has gotten him in a heap of trouble. (Remember forty year old Moses murdering the Egyptian for beating the Hebrew slave?) And yet, God had a plan. One that didn't involve Moses living as the adopted son of Pharaoh, but as a humbled man tending flocks for his father-in-law. I wonder sometimes how receptive Moses would have been to a burning bush if he had still been living the high and mighty life. Was he more willing and able to see God because his "future" was damaged beyond repair? Did he ever realize that this was the future God had for him all along?

This past week, in our readings, Moses has begun preparing the Israelites for his death. As I read, one thing caught my eye repeatedly. At least three times Moses said this: "Because of you, the Lord became angry with me..."(Deut. 1:37) "But because of you the Lord was angry with me..."(3:26) "The Lord was angry with me because of you..." (4:21) However, if we look back in Numbers, we get a different picture of what happened. "The Lord said to Moses, 'Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water....So Moses took the staff from the Lord's presence, just as He commanded him. He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, 'Listen, you rebels, must we bring water out of this rock?' Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff....But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, 'Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.' " (Numbers 20:7-12) So, whose fault was it?

It's easy for me to lose my temper. As a matter of fact, there are times when I purposefully loosen the reigns and behave poorly. I justify it to myself in many ways, but the bottom line is that I am responsible for my actions. And often the consequences for my choosing to lose my temper are not worth the momentary satisfaction I receive from "blowing a gasket." Others are hurt by my choosing to behave badly. (Just as Aaron paid for Moses' choice.) And once the words leave my mouth, they cannot be "taken back." (Moses apparently pleaded with God to change His mind but God chose not to relent. Check out Deut. 3:21-29.)

So, three things linger with me this week. One---Stop whining, grumbling and complaining. (which I have done my share of this past week with our inventory.) My bad attitude can push someone else's bad attitude to the point of anger. Two---Hang onto my temper. Things said in the heat of anger cannot be taken back and may have far reaching consequences. Three--- Accept responsibility for my actions. Don't blame others for my bad attitude. I control my temper (or, as my mother used to say, my temper controls me.)